Don’t Eat the Ottoman!

Why do they keep yelling that at me?  All I was doing is playing with the giant square squishy dog toy thing, geez!

malinois in crate with german shepherd

See, I can share!

Let me tell you what just happened.  So, I was at doggy kindergarten like usual and they took the dog treats away from mom.  We walked around the room like we always do.  I really wanted to say hi to everyone.  There were so many people standing against the wall doing nothing.  I tried to get them to play with me or DO something, but they just kept standing there.  Mom called my name each time, but I ignored here.  Can’t she see that these people need a little play encouragement.  My mom started acting nuts, jumping around and making squealy noises.  I had to check on her.  She gave me a treat when I did.  Why does she keep doing this?  I get a treat for ignoring people….   Sorry, itch under my collar.

Oh yeah, you wont believe what happened next.  One of the kindergarten teachers started throwing the best toys ever all over the floor.  A brand new tennis ball bounced right past me.  It even had that new rubber smell on it.  All mine!

I was told to leave it alone.  Was she kidding?  She wanted me to ignore this just for a few stupid treats,  which by the way you remember she didn’t have much of.  Oh yeah, they put several treat bags on the floor as well and they were full of treats.  I was excited to try everybody’s on my way around the room.  Mom kept bouncing up and down and running around I had a hard time keeping up.  I missed most of the toys trying to not trip on the leash.  I got that really stinky tennis ball in my mouth once and it got yanked right out.  How rude!

A frisbee went whizzing past my head. Then a bouncing mini soccer ball bounced by. Lastly, a nice fluffy squeaky toy went flop.  No, no, and no!  What kind of torture was this all about anyway?

Thirsty.

We had to walk nicely around the room.  Every time I dodge out to grab a toy, I hit the end of my leash.  Or my mom yanked on it.  Meanie!  The teachers put an end to that!  They made all the doggie parents put the leashes over the shoulder.  No more yanking on the leash.  Everyone in the room started acting like they lost their marbles.  Jumping around, arms flailing, squeaky noises were happening everywhere.  We finally stopped and I was able to get the squeaky toy in my mouth  The soft material felt so good in my mouth, just like fur.  The squeak was also quite satisfying.

All of a sudden I was moving up in the air.  Whoa, I think I even saw the ceiling under my feet!  The toy went flying out of my mouth, and mom kicked it away. Meanie!  Turns out my mom picked me up in her arms.  No fair!

After that I got to roll around on the floor with my mom.  I had such a good time sticking my nose in her hair and flopping my hips on top of her.  I think I licked most of her face clean too, tasty!

After that we had to walk nicely side by side past on of the teachers sitting in a chair.  She even had treats.  The treat bag dangled right in front of me.  Mom shoved treats in my face.  Another dog in line got treats thrown right at him.  He ignored them!  Must have been a dog with bad allergies.  Mom says she can’t see too well or smell anything when she has those.  Whatever they are.

At the end of class, mom kept giving me treats and touching my feet.  I HATE it when she does that, it tickles!

Out in the parking lot I got to bark for some treats. That was awesome.

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One Response to “Don’t Eat the Ottoman!”

  1. Funny. Glad you survived the ordeal.

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