Why dog people clean

Is my dog broken? Working dogs are supposed to be examples of their breed.  Of character for other dogs to idolize, to look up to, role models.   Perhaps this one is a bit deranged.

For example:

This bath mat suffered injury after Grom became bored with the bone he was chewing and decided something else tasted better.

Tools to fix:

  • scissors
  • dust pan
  • brush
  • poo bags for later as the carpet threads will not degrade in doggy septic tank

After that was cleaned up, it was time to visit the living room. Even before I could tackle the giant tumbleweeds of dog hair, larger objects needed to be picked up.

This is what I refer to as shrapnel.

Any box or bag in the vicinity of dog must be destroyed.  Pieces of massacred containers will be distributed throughout the house in the most inaccessible locations to the human.  Carcasses of  of several different varieties are depicted here.

I vacuumed up the living room and kitchen floor, unclogging the attachment tube several times of hairball jams.  Then it was time for a trip outside with a garbage bag, rubber gloves, surgical mask, and the vacuum bag.  The contents of the vacuum bag are transferred to the garbage bag by pulling giant chunks of dust covered dog hair balls with my fingers. Huge plumes of dust puff into the air while the hairballs expand to ten times the size they were in the bag.  I completely fill a tall kitchen garbage bag with the stuff and put the vacuum bag back into the vacuum.  Those suckers are five bucks a pop, darn right they are used again.  (This whole procedure will likely be repeated in a few days time.)

Time to tackle the bathroom.  All surfaces of the bathroom must be vacuumed before cleaning can proceed.  Yes, this includes the walls.

I pause before squirting cleaning liquid into the toilet bowl.  Most of the water is missing from the porcelain bowl because someone was too lazy to walk downstairs for a drink.  Working dog my butt.

I head back down stairs to this:Ah yes, shoephagy.  The reason no one can leave their shoes around the house without risk.  Feet must smell delicious.  These are my husbands shoes so they have extra flavor.

On top of destroying things, the little monster likes to climb on top OF things. He can’t seem to understand that two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.Grom happily chewed on his toy while laying on man for several minutes.  This particular chair must have a dog warming accessory.

Seriously dog, I am trying to blog here!

2 Responses to “Why dog people clean”

  1. bakerstacy Says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have picked up my fair share of random pieces of… what was that a part of, anyway?

    I also empty my vacuum bags of dog fur to reuse. I’m fairly sure that if they did a study on the contents of a full vacuum bag of a dog owner vs a non dog owner, they’d find that 80% of our bags are filled with fur and remains of chewed things.

    I would also like to know how my dog, who’s head stands at about 2’6″, gets fur a foot away from the bathroom ceiling…. what do they do when we are not at home?!

  2. sandysays1 Says:

    Awww, come on! You know we’re worth the little agony we cause. My human wouldn’t know what to do with his time if I didn’t rearrange furniture, dust the knick-knacks with my tail, eat the cats food, chew up a bank envelope with $150 in it, sit on his computer keyboard, and chew up his latest novel manuscript. We’re just too lovable to get you angry.
    Sandy http://www.sandysays1.wordpress.com

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