Archive for humorous

Turtles at the BBQ

Posted in Dog diary, life with a working dog, pets with tags , , , , , on September 9, 2010 by rattlerjen

I love parties!  There are tons of people and all of them want to give me a nice scratch.

Wait!

What is this?

A rock that moves?  I wonder if I can play with it?

turtle plays with dogMaybe if I playbow he will play with me.

Yay!  This is so much fun!

WAIT!

Why are you chasing me?

I am the dog here.

You know; sheep dog!

As in *I* am the one that is supposed to be herding YOU!

YAWN.

This partying is sure making me sleepy.


I think I am going to chill for the rest of the night.

Luau at Obedience School

Posted in Dog diary, dog training, life with a working dog, pets with tags , , , , , , on August 16, 2010 by rattlerjen

Dust off those grass skirts and put on those Hawaiian shirts; It’s Luau time!

Vicki was excited to get the dogs rollin on the skateboards.  Check out that awesome hot pink skirt!

Look!  I am getting treats for riding on the skateboard.  Soon I will be doing 360’s.

Coconut bowling sure looks like fun.  Can I try?

What do you mean I am over the line?

I think this poor lady must have had a spider in her pants.

I was taught to follow that yellow ball on the stick. What is she going to ask me to do next, jump through hoops?

Forget I said anything.

Mals are Nuts

Posted in Dog diary, pets with tags , , , , , on August 8, 2010 by rattlerjen

Grom here is recovering from a vicious attack from another aggressive Belgian Malinois.

The offending dog thinks of murder all day

Here is the actual attack taking place.  Notice another Belgian Mal is attempting to save our German Shepherd (or possibly joining in the attack.)

One on one with Grom, it is very scary.

This crazy animal will eventually grow into a massive killer of enormous size.

In short, never put these very dangerous dogs together.  You will have to witness several hours of offensively adorable puppy play, lounging, cuddling, and sharing of toys.

Please, talk to your dog about the dangers of puppy play-dates before it is too late.

Beef vs Pork a Dog’s Culinary Delight

Posted in dog, Dog diary, pets, Product Review, Search and Rescue with tags , , , , on May 24, 2010 by rattlerjen

Earlier today I had an opportunity to sample two varieties of animal from two different farms.

There are many qualities that make up a good bone.

First was the Pork Bone from a free range heritage breed, organically raised pig from Walnut Hill Farms.

Three out of four paws

My portion came from a quite meaty portion of the pig near the spine.  The meat had a lovely dark rose color interspersed with a delicate webbing of fat.  It initially smelled of freshly turned earth and acorns with a lovely woodsy overtone.  I quickly took care of that by smearing it around in my favorite patch of mud and ripening it in the sun for several minutes.

The meat separated quite nicely from the bone with a nice chewy mouth feel.  The square bones crunched quite easily within my jaws into a very satisfying paste finish.  I am afraid the marrow combined to readily with the pulverized bone for an adequate taste test on its own.

I give this high marks for a lovely combination of taste and crunch. The entire thing disappeared to quickly for proper ripening in the sun.  I recommend for a quick dinner by yourself.  I would not suggest serving to a lady friend to share as she will likely keep it all to herself.

Angelic Beef Bones – From happy cows

Two and a half out of four paws

Giant servings smelling of freshly chewed cud, honey, and buttermilk.  This bone is the perfect choice to roll around in the grass and age in the sun for a lovely slight rotten taste.  Very large strands of gristle and tendon lead to a quite satisfying mouth feel.  With much more bone than meat with this cut, much more can be left out or shared with friends on a lazy afternoon.  Really, who are we kidding?  All afternoons are lazy.

Very thick bones allow the diner to really settle in to sampling the rich dark marrow in every piece.  Most wonderful of all are the grinding, crunching, and snapping noises possible with multiple surfaces and textures.

This bone has less meat but worth it for longevity of the meal and endless possibilities for burying and ripening.

Both have their qualities, and like any cut of meat.  Each has use.  Now if you will excuse me, I need to push this beef bone under the bed.


Cactus Killer Photo Released

Posted in Dog diary, life with a working dog with tags , , , , , , on May 5, 2010 by rattlerjen

A terrifying photograph of the suspected cactus killer has been released to the media.  If you have any information that can lead authorities to the capture and arrest of this villain, please contact the proper authorities.

suspected Cactus Killer?

Moron Eats Cactus

Posted in Dog diary, life with a working dog, pets with tags , , , , , , , on May 4, 2010 by rattlerjen

The Cactus:  Millions of years ago, the cactus evolved tough irritating spines to protect itself from the onslaught of ravenous herbivorous wild animals.  These prickly defenses have protected them in one of the harshest environments on earth.

Until Now.

What fearsome creature has penetrated its defenses?

It is hard to imagine what sort of animal could feast on such a plant.

“The Wild animal had the looks of a Tasmanian devil or some sort of black colored rabid wolf”, one horrified witness claimed.

“The sounds alone were horrifying.”

No one knows what caused the animal to attack.  It is well known that cactus have developed such defenses to protect itself from thirsty animals in a desert environment seeking the moisture of the cactus’s center.  However, there was plenty of fresh, delicious water readily available to the creature nearby.

One terrified bystander fears, “Maybe it just kills for fun.”

“Maybe, It feels no pain.”

Rescue personnel report the plant is still in critical condition in the ICU.  The attacker remains at large.

Can I Chew on Your Birthday?

Posted in Dog diary, Search and Rescue with tags , , , , on April 24, 2010 by rattlerjen

Where is that sound coming from? Can I eat it?

Really, what in the world is in there?

I don’t know what that is, but it sounds delicious.

Aquatic plant for a ride

Posted in Dog diary, life with a working dog with tags , , , on April 16, 2010 by rattlerjen

I came home this evening to find a single dingleberry left on the corner of the rug. I wondered if it had been stuck to a dog or traveled in on a shoe.  I quickly picked it up with some tissue and flushed it down the toilet.  Out came the can of carpet spot cleaner and a rag.  I found such a thing quite funny.

Grom has knocked over our herb planter,  stolen a shoe, eaten a panty in half, and grabbed the aquatic plant for a nice ride around the yard in his mouth.

Looks like his training has improved 😀

Don’t Eat the Ottoman!

Posted in Search and Rescue with tags , , , , , , , on March 29, 2010 by rattlerjen

Why do they keep yelling that at me?  All I was doing is playing with the giant square squishy dog toy thing, geez!

malinois in crate with german shepherd

See, I can share!

Let me tell you what just happened.  So, I was at doggy kindergarten like usual and they took the dog treats away from mom.  We walked around the room like we always do.  I really wanted to say hi to everyone.  There were so many people standing against the wall doing nothing.  I tried to get them to play with me or DO something, but they just kept standing there.  Mom called my name each time, but I ignored here.  Can’t she see that these people need a little play encouragement.  My mom started acting nuts, jumping around and making squealy noises.  I had to check on her.  She gave me a treat when I did.  Why does she keep doing this?  I get a treat for ignoring people….   Sorry, itch under my collar.

Oh yeah, you wont believe what happened next.  One of the kindergarten teachers started throwing the best toys ever all over the floor.  A brand new tennis ball bounced right past me.  It even had that new rubber smell on it.  All mine!

I was told to leave it alone.  Was she kidding?  She wanted me to ignore this just for a few stupid treats,  which by the way you remember she didn’t have much of.  Oh yeah, they put several treat bags on the floor as well and they were full of treats.  I was excited to try everybody’s on my way around the room.  Mom kept bouncing up and down and running around I had a hard time keeping up.  I missed most of the toys trying to not trip on the leash.  I got that really stinky tennis ball in my mouth once and it got yanked right out.  How rude!

A frisbee went whizzing past my head. Then a bouncing mini soccer ball bounced by. Lastly, a nice fluffy squeaky toy went flop.  No, no, and no!  What kind of torture was this all about anyway?

Thirsty.

We had to walk nicely around the room.  Every time I dodge out to grab a toy, I hit the end of my leash.  Or my mom yanked on it.  Meanie!  The teachers put an end to that!  They made all the doggie parents put the leashes over the shoulder.  No more yanking on the leash.  Everyone in the room started acting like they lost their marbles.  Jumping around, arms flailing, squeaky noises were happening everywhere.  We finally stopped and I was able to get the squeaky toy in my mouth  The soft material felt so good in my mouth, just like fur.  The squeak was also quite satisfying.

All of a sudden I was moving up in the air.  Whoa, I think I even saw the ceiling under my feet!  The toy went flying out of my mouth, and mom kicked it away. Meanie!  Turns out my mom picked me up in her arms.  No fair!

After that I got to roll around on the floor with my mom.  I had such a good time sticking my nose in her hair and flopping my hips on top of her.  I think I licked most of her face clean too, tasty!

After that we had to walk nicely side by side past on of the teachers sitting in a chair.  She even had treats.  The treat bag dangled right in front of me.  Mom shoved treats in my face.  Another dog in line got treats thrown right at him.  He ignored them!  Must have been a dog with bad allergies.  Mom says she can’t see too well or smell anything when she has those.  Whatever they are.

At the end of class, mom kept giving me treats and touching my feet.  I HATE it when she does that, it tickles!

Out in the parking lot I got to bark for some treats. That was awesome.

Flying Dogs!

Posted in dog training, Search and Rescue with tags , , , , , on March 20, 2010 by rattlerjen

Everyone has heard the term, “When pigs fly,” but what does it mean when dogs fly?  We all get back from our really fun land navigation exercise to delicious hot dogs and burgers.  In addition to some yummy dogs on a bun, there were a different group of hot dogs flying through the air.

If you look closely, this dog was pretty relaxed.  At one point he even had big huge happy lab circle tail butt wiggle going. Our SAR dogs can be very trusting. Although I am wondering if our dogs think we are insane.  I imagine training a dog to be comfortable going up a steep cliff can save many hours in search time.

German Shepherd on a Zip line

One of our dog handlers doing a great job getting her dog comfortable with the zip line for the first time. Treats rule.

Our base of operations must be located where there is access to the outside world, including roads and communication.  This is where everyone must meet before going out on a search.  Unfortunately, the base is not always located in the most convenient place to get searchers out to their search site.  The lost person could very well have been last seen across a gully, up a cliff, around a swamp, or down a hill side from where we start.  It may be a search area is reached only by hiking in a few hours from where we got our instructions.  When time is of the essence, a flying dog may make all the difference to the success of a search.

bloodhound on a ziplineMy puppy, Grom thinks he is a billy goat. He is always jumping on top of things.  Ziplining would certainly give him the ultimate view of things!

I have to admit my favorite dog on the zipline was this giant bloodhound.  I challenge anyone to not smile at this brave guy.  What a dog!

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